none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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