Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
