Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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