So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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