Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
