idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
