I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
