I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
