I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize