After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
