We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
