i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize