Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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