i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize