I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
