Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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