let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
