Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
