I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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