john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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