My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
