how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
