I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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