We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
