The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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