i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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