Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
