alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
