Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize