When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
