Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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