In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
