So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
what day is it and did you see me today?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So much rum. So many feels.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
