I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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