I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
