Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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