I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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