In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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