He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
