They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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