so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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