I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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