whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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