She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize