Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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