it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
