I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
