omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
