My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
last night I used snow as a chaser
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
