dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
