I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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