Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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