I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
