Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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