I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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