I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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