How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
