I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
