dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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