I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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