i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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