This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
